It’s that Festivus time of year again. Seems like it jumped
up on us fast this year. On the eve of the big day, I am really not into the
Holiday spirit yet this year. I truly
wasn’t going to continue with the “Airing of the Grievance” blog this
year. Several reasons that really only
matter to me. That being said, I am
going to reluctantly give it at least one more shot. I didn’t realize in 2017
when I published the inaugural installment that it would take on a life of its
own in my little corner of the social media world. Thank God for late night
inspiration.
I actually looked back at the last eight blogs in the last couple
of days and try not to look at topics I didn’t want to repeat in an identical
way (You can find the link to those first eight blogs on my Facebook page). There
are some topics that I have attacked several times in this space in the past different
ways in in different years. That will not change, as we have at least one
repeat offender that needs taken to task.
As I always mention thanks to Frank Costanza and the writers
at Seinfeld for giving us this extra holiday each December 23. If you are new to this annual tradition and
are an individual that is easily offended or are hyper sensitive, this is not
for you. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just doesn’t make you a good fit
for this post. Scroll on by and troll someone else. If you do have a sense of humor and have propensity
to argue then come on down and drop your comments after completing after
reading this year’s version.
Long time readers also know I work pretty hard to keep
politics out of this writing. I have
probably dipped my toe in the water a few times over eight years but have been
pretty good at avoiding those things you can consume any hour of the day on
cable news or the internet. I, at least, try to have a sense of humor about
some of the everyday things I am pissed off about. I think the world is way to angry and divided
right now, which is one of the reasons I considered punting on this project.
Hopefully this will give you a little chuckle as you sit
around the fire celebrating the holiday season in the next couple of days. I
may keep it a little shorter with a few big topics and more little ones this
year. There is no PG or NC17 rating on this thing. This is a blog for people of all ages from
teens to centurions. I have redacted as much as possible to protect the violators.
I think that takes care of the paper
work part of all this so let’s get started with the “Airing of the Grievances”
2025.
I alluded to a repeat offender this year. For the third time (by my count) the NCAA has
made the list and is leading us off. I
have brought up their incompetence through COVID and wrote a little about NIL
and the Transfer portal so I am loathe to give them space here again but they
just can’t get out of their own way. The money has become out of control.
Players and Coaches making more than some professional athletes. LSU is paying $162 to current and fired
Coaches. That isn’t a typo. This is a state where the literacy rate is just
below Mississippi for a race to the bottom. Glad Louisiana's Governor got
involved to solve this problem recently with the firing of Brian Kelly (who is
a total douchebag and very much deserved being whacked).
There is absolutely no loyalty from Coaches or Players and
it is completely enabled by uber rich Alumni that seemingly have unlimited
resources, though I don’t see how this is a sustainable process long term. Since it has become the Wild West of college
sports, where the highest bidder wins lets discuss the messes that have been
caused by it. The College Football
Playoff is a trainwreck of epic proportion because now that we are playing
players over the table instead of under it, teams other than Alabama, Georgia,
and Clemson can now compete too because their reach alum are stepping up now
that its legal.
The last couple of weeks has basically exposed a selection
committee that clearly isn’t very transparent.
They did the right thing keeping Miami in over Notre Dame, but the
screwed the Fighting Leprechauns in how they did it. They rated them ahead of
Miami every week for five weeks, until they didn’t. Not to be outdone by their shame Notre Dame
reacts like a two-year-old the eight-year-old that didn’t get their Cabbage
Patch Doll in in 1983. In fact, the kid
that didn’t get the doll probably had more room to screams the Notre Dame.
Here is an idea. Join a conference and dump the 44th
worst strength of schedule in the country and start playing some teams not sponsored
by the Sisters of the Poor. You won’t do
that because you want it both ways. So, keep your TV contract with NBC and take
all the Pope’s pocket money (not currently set aside for pending litigation) and
take advantage of the new world order of Sports. Not only do you have God on
your side, you have a limitless budget to buy back that glory from yesteryear.
When they do the autopsy on College Football this season,
they will be able to point back to the “Boys from South Bend” and tell the
world that it was that group that was the catalyst to ending Bowl games minus
Big New Years Day games. Good work Irish. That one is going to cost you a confession at the Vatican
I am sure by this time next year there will be more major
changes to the ever-changing landscape of the NCAA (particularly as it relates
to Football and Basketball). I know that
as someone that went to, and worked at regional state schools, that it has
ruined Athletics for that demographic of institution. The days of having student athletes at
schools like WIU and EIU are over, or few and way further between than the
past. It is sad as those Athletes often become an important part of the
community. Something to get behind and root for the locals. They were also
often excellent students that became successful after they graduated and their
playing days were over. Some of the best Alumni because of the incredible connection
they made to the university because of Athletics. I see what the moral of fans
and Alum are at these institutions, knowing the incredibly challenging path
that has been created due to the financial inequity that exist in the current environment.
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!!!!
Next up area meetings and awards banquets. The only thing Higher Education loves more
than a good buzz word (check that rant out on a previous blog) is a bad
meeting. We love meetings (NOT). We have meetings to get ready for meetings in
Higher Education. Right after potty training, driving, and financial literacy (I
would throw in writing in cursive and learning how to tell time on a watch with
hands) I would include “Meeting etiquette” Having had meetings as part of my
everyday life for over thirty years at work and with service groups I have had
to sit though some brutal sessions through the years. So much so, I feel like I
should have earned badges like military in combat. Meetings, in theory, should help with
planning and efficiency. Sadly, they
more often wind up making more than a few want to seek therapy. A meeting doesn’t require you to talk, especially
if you have nothing pertinent to add. I have run across countless individuals
that violate this most basic tenant of a meeting. They talk even though there
is nothing to add. Worse they bring topics up that have already been covered. It
is like finger nails running across a chalkboard to sit through some of these
gatherings.
One of the violations of the “Meeting Over Talker” is the “Long
Report Giver”. You find yourself
actually on the agenda and required to give a report because your job is
important enough where the group wants to hear what you have to say. Because you are on the agenda doesn’t mean it
was some mandate for the people by which some politician won eighty percent of
the vote. Pro tip here. The best reports
are succinct reports. Less truly is more. Follow me for more life tips on my
other blogs.
The most egregious violation of the “meeting over-talker” is
the “End of the Meeting Question Asker”.
Everyone with any emotional intelligence or general common sense
understands that the meeting is winding down. Then, “Doug”, (We will call him
Doug for the sake of this blog---to protect his true identity) in the back of
the room raises his hand and asks at least three questions that have been asked
and responded to already.
You try to conjure some empathy to somehow understand why
someone would do this---but none comes to you and you just want to punch him in
the face and quote the great line from Trains, Planes, and Automobiles where
Steve Martin says to John Candy: “I mean, didn’t you notice when you
started talking, eventually, I started reading the vomit bag. Didn’t that give
you some sort of clue, like, hey, maybe this guy isn’t enjoying it” Maybe
he is a good guy that just wants to contribute but really doesn’t know how, or
have the ability to do so. Maybe he is
not a good listener or has insecurity issues. I really don’t care because of all
the things that drive me crazy in life this is near the top of my list.
A kissing cousin to the “Meeting Over Talker” is the “Award
Presenter or Award Recipient” at a reception or banquet, which the world is
filled with on an annual basis. If you find
yourself in the position of either of these two roles, remember what my old
mentor told me in the eighties. There are Three BS’s with speeches. Be Sincere, Be short, and Be seated. You not
at the Oscars. If you were they would have already ushered you out with the “Get
off the stage background music” and you would have a little Gold Statuette. You
got none of those things. Then Ricky
Gervais would make fun of you for bloviation
I literally have got to the point in my life that I put a
stop watch on every speaker at an event to make sure history can properly judge
these people. Though you could clock some of them with a sun dial. Two things you can’t do in life is buy time or get it back. I
have had years taken off my life just in the banquets that I have sat through
over the years. I promise you that none of us are that important or
interesting. There have been few times I
blacked and thought they were going to have to call the ambulance to revive
me. You are not Jim Valvano dying of
cancer at the ESPYS so when the red light in the back of the rooms says “Stop Talking”
take a knee and go back to your seat.
I think I have actually suggested to some groups I have been
a part of that we should consider Gongs in the back of the room and escort the off-stage
Chuck Barris style. I know folks are anti-shaming but at some point, the
punishment should fit the crime. Maybe shock collars. I am truly open to whatever
keeps the banquet train running on time. If you really have that much of a need
to talk then run for Senate and set the record for longest speech from the floor
during a Phila buster. I have to take a
pause to go take a blood pressure pill form writing on this topic before I resume
writing.
Let’s get off sports for a second and tackle a topic that
has been in my craw for a while. It is the misuse of GOFUNDME campaigns. I view
GOFUNDME a lot like emotional support animals. It is ruined for the few people
that need it by the many that abuse it. It
was actually found in 2010 and became the largest online crowdsourcing platform
in 2017. It basically gives you a vehicle to raise money through social media
at a mafia loan sharks price for the ability to do it. To be fair, there are
different causes that use GOFUNDME that wouldn’t otherwise be able to generate
the revenue that they are able to without it.
Some of them are even very good charities and efforts.
The problem is that no good idea goes unpunished. There are so many people that abuse this
platform that it is nauseating. I don’t
know how many of these you get but I see some doozies. The number of legitimate campaigns pales in comparison
to the scams and shameless requests. First, if you come from money and want are
trying to get money from any cause, pound sand. You are probably why rich
people are rich. Taking advantage of the system. Other things I am not on board
with including donating for your bail money when you have committee a felony.
We all that everyone is innocent on the inside. They told us so in Shawshank Redemption—still
that is a hard pass on my part to help.
If you a GOFUNDME for your vacation because you just really need one, I
am also going to decline. As Norm told us in Cheers, “It’s a Dog-eat-dog world
out there, and we are all wearing Milk bones”.
There is always the cancer that isn’t real and other fake
ailments that seem to sucker people in to donating. That doesn’t mean there
aren’t real people in need that are sick, but the grifters ruin it for
everyone. Then there are the more adventures some requests for “Boob Jobs” or “Hair
implants”. I am definitely on board about you improving your self-esteem and self-worth. Perhaps consider an OnlyFans account. Look at
all your viable options. I am not a hater, just not a donator.
Bottom line, I think there is a place in the world for ideas
like GOFUNDME but between the abuse in shady or unreasonable request and the
prices one is charged for being able to go make that ask leaves one with a
nasty taste in their mouth about the whole thing. If you are truly a friend in
need in my world, I will just give you cash so you don’t lose a percentage to “Big
Donation”.
Next on the docket is gambling in sports. It is out of hand.
Make no mistake, I have no problem with people wagering on sports, or anything
for that matter. I am not a judger that way.
However, this past year’s revelations really give pause to how honest
the major sports leagues are being with us as fans. We know wresting is fake
and is really entertainment. We know that Boxing has been fixing fights since
Teddy Roosevelt was in office. We have also lived through Shoeless Joe and the
Black Sox scandal, as well as our favorite (Should be in the Hall of Fame) sports
gambler---Pete Rose.
None of that seems to rise to the level of some of the
things coming out of the NBA and MLB this year.
Hall of Fame Coaches in bed with the mob to fix card games. A young star
making $23 Million a year illegally gambling to make $250,000, who will likely
never play in the league again. Think about
that for second. This guy was making $280,000/game or $70,00 a quarter to play
Basketball and pissed all away to make a quarter of a million dollars. These
guys are either the dumbest people on the planet and putting themselves up for
contention in this years Darwin awards, or they are the greediest on earth.
Maybe its both. Either way it really does start making everyday fans question
the integrity of the game.
I think it is just one of the many problems the NBA is
grappling with these days. The game is almost unwatchable compared to the old
days. I think you get like six steps now before they call travel. The
rationalize it by calling it a Euro Step. Stars set out of games because they
can’t play on back-to-back nights. They have a fancy word for it called load
management. Sorry that little Johnny and Jenny’s dad had to pay $200/ticket to see
their favorite player to see him in street clothes yucking it up on the end of
the bench. It is ridiculous and maddening. Truly a boondoggle. It will also be interesting to see what decisions
the NBA makes with the WNBA as they face an upcoming player strike over wages.
Since the NBA subsidizes about $40 Million a year to make the WNBA viable it
should be a fun watch. I know I will be grabbing my popcorn and missing my
mouth with it like an Angel Reese layup. Eventually I will get it in the right
place. The NBA has become a sad version of a history rich past.
Let’s talk about kids today. I just learned about the Alpha
Generation. That is apparently the name for kids born between2010 and 2024. If
you have had the chance to be adjacent to this group in the past year you know
that we got experience trough them the 6-7 phenomena. It is basically slang for
that age group that is nonsensical and means nothing at all. It is their
collective way to be a pain in the ass to older people. It is stupid but apparently it helps them
feel connected as a generation. I know I feel better learning that fashioning
some hand gestures with a couple sequential numbers is going to keep our youth
bound in solidarity.
The only reason I am remotely considering giving them a pass
is I remember back in the good old Gen X days (the coolest generation) that
rode the lightening on the annoying line with our reference to “Psyche”, “Cool
Beans”, “Well duh”, “Wax up”, and “Suck it”. I don’t love this whole thing but
at least they aren’t eating Tide Pods so they get a Festivus pass even though
its highly annoying.
As we are yelling at kids—can we kill all this “vaping”. If
you are going to get lung cancer, can you at least do it with some Camel or
Lucky Strike Non-Filters. Somehow, kids think it is ok to puff these things up
inside. Whether it is a school bathroom, department store, or place of
business. It is super annoying and it isn’t even cool. At least the Marlboro
Man had his dignity.
A few small things before I finish. I am becoming more and
more upset that the day of the luxury sedan are dwindling. Seems like the automobile
industry has damn near exclusively moved to building SUVs of all sizes, pick up
trucks, and vans. The day of the “Big Car” seems to be dead. This country used
to collectively connect with those big old vehicles. It brought Grandmothers
and Mom’s that sold Mary Kay and Avon products together with Mafia Bosses who
needed big trunks to store dead bodies. There was plenty of room to make out in
the back seat at the Drive-In and you could sneak your friends into that same
move by putting them in the trunk. Seems like its all-Soccer Moms and the
suburbs being catered to now by Detroit. Also, the Camry doesn’t count as real Sedan.
Its gas milage alone prohibits it. I yearn
for the good old days and weep for the day that those Cadillac and Lincoln
sedans leave us for good. (Insert Old man yells at Cloud image here).
Many of you know from time-to-time Tay Tay comes up in the
blog. I am sad to say that she has taken herself off the market and decided to
betroth that washed up Tight End in Kansas City. I don’t get what she sees in
him. I mean, what does he have that I don’t. I could have been Mr. Swifty. The
realization that this is never going to happened now has been a great deal for me
to process here at the end of year. Dare I say traumatizing. It feels like I am going to have to start
all over now. It was a good run, but between how you left Bieber and have left
me hanging, it is clear you discriminate against JB’s. We could have been big together.
Congrats and best of luck. I am setting the over/under on your marriage lasting at
about 3.5 years. I will be waiting for your girl.
Alright kids, that is all I have in a long year without much Festivus spirit. As always, I appreciate those that take
the time to read these things. Feels like the world is more divisive than I
remember it for a while. People don’t know how to agree with each other anymore.
I encourage everyone to keep connecting or reconnecting with those you have
fallen out of touch and favor with this upcoming year, while continuing to hold close those you agree with more and love. We are a lot more
similar than different. Find those similarities. Have a drink and a good
conversation.. Help bring the world a little closer in 2026.
As for me, I will be finding a good cigar while talking with
strangers and making new friends and hanging out with my brother and sisters. Then I will be finishing with a Bobes Pizza
at night to celebrate Festivus. Then I will come home and hug my crazy redheaded roommate. Try to find reasons to smile this week. God knows
we all need that in our lives. Remember that dogs are better than people, and
not to let the holidays stress you out. I wish you all health and happiness in
the New Year and as always----“I have a lot of problems with you people”
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